She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
