she was so not down for the gang bang
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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