Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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