yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
