I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this just has baby written all over it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
