He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
