we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
