my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
