You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
