these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
