I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Randomize
