i was born a porn star she said
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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