He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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