he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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