I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
