So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
