i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
