Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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