I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
