Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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