another moral hangover. fuck.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
