So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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