Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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