I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
