her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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