in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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