i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
