SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
