We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
