hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
love makes seman taste better
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
they're like a gay fantastic four
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
