I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
