you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize