im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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