I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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