...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize