I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
