Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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