when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
