i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm at about main and main street
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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