i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
