planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
