Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
