ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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