if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
