I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize