yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
