Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
