it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
