I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
