im drinking this country out of the recession.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
