Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
