I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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