Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
