i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
