If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
