it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
