you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
