Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
