It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
