i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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