just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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