just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
