maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
