you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
